The NFL owners met in Phoenix last week and reporters peppered them about the Kraft affair. Unless you’ve been in meditative seclusion, there isn’t anyone in America who’s unaware that Robert Kraft, the 77-year-old billionaire and owner of the New England Patriots was arrested for soliciting prostitution in a Florida massage parlor. The massage parlor, unbeknownst to him, was under investigation as a front in the sex trafficking trade.
Kraft, who by all accounts is a caring, kind, generous man, and respectful of women, was married for 50 years to his childhood sweetheart who died in 2011 of ovarian cancer. Kraft apologized for the hurt, and disappointment to his family, friends, co-workers and said he should rightfully be held to a higher standard.
But, is he a criminal? The real crime here is the criminalization of prostitution, which encourages pimping and human trafficking, and for that there is an answer. Kamala Harris, the U.S. senator from California, has announced her candidacy for the Presidency. Among other things I like about her, in addition to spending more on education and not accepting donations from corporate PAC’s, is that she is an advocate for the decriminalization of prostitution. What a great idea; get rid of the pimps, traffickers, and make an honest business of the world’s oldest profession.
I say, let’s expand the availability of prostitutes as a preventive health measure. There are lots of people, men and women, who’d feel better if they had easier access to sexual satisfaction. Think about the people in old age homes and institutions for the chronically mentally ill where acting out behaviors are common and solely treated by mind-numbing medications that render residents virtually unconscious.
Instead of punishing unacceptable behaviors through chemically straightjacketing, why not give people an incentive for good behaviors? If you conduct yourself appropriately, you get to cash in your goody points at the snack bar for a massage with a happy ending.
The entrepreneurial possibilities are endless, if there is no available space in the institution these healthy, self-employed working girls, would staff a mobile trailer. For those who would prefer no human contact there is the option of the new, robotic, life-sized dolls. And once it’s legal the government can collect taxes that could be used to pay teachers a living wage.
Kraft has been publicly shamed and will carry it with him, but he is still an ordinary man with ordinary needs. Lighten up, it’s April Fool’s Day, and we are all fools.