As often as I ramble about being in the moment and that the way it was is not the way it is. Talking about it has always been a lot easier than doing it. I’m in over my head with the Clown Town Healing Fest (CTHF). Organizing this inaugural event (clowntownhealingfest.com) is getting overwhelming; I’m in over my head and need help.
I’m a good ideas, I can share the vision with passion but it’s the organizational work I’ve always had difficulty with, the following through, managing the details, dealing with endless bureaucracies, that stuff actually makes my skin crawl.
But asking for help has never been easy for me; it’s hard for me to acknowledge my neediness. It’s not that I don’t feel it it’s just that I don’t like being reminded of it; so my style is to hope somebody recognizes my neediness without having to ask to have my needs met more directly.
The CTHF is getting bigger; I have so many plates twirling in the air that it’s waking me up in the middle of the night. In my distress, I asked all kinds of people to help me. Friends old and new made it easy, whether or not they shared the vision; they shared the joy of my purpose and passion in making it happen. I felt neither ashamed nor embarrassed in acknowledging my overwhelm, quite the contrary… my friends thanked me for giving them an opportunity to help me make my dream happen.
This whole experience has allowed me to create a new ending to that old dysfunctional story of how to face my neediness. It couldn’t come at a better time because age tames the ego, you either acknowledge your slowing capacities or you live miserably.
I want to say thank you to all of you who’ve joined me on this road for helping me to look again at the old landscape and be able to see it with new eyes. I resolve not to wait until I’m drowning before I reach out next time. Your truth will set you free and it’s a blessing not only to those who ask but also for those who respond.
Join me on this healing journey and check out the Clown Town Healing Fest