I haven’t been writing much this last month because I’m in the midst of some challenging changes. Changes not just inside my body, but in my surroundings as well. I am a strong believer in embracing change and being present in every moment (even in the hard times), but at this moment I’m just saying, my plate is full…and it’s a smaller plate.
The biggest change is deciding not to sell our home of 47 years and instead making some extensive renovations. Staying here in the ceremonial center of our family life has filled me with unbridled joy, but it means moving out of my office (which is a separate casita attached to the house), and into a smaller space inside. The move has been stressful, and I wasn’t prepared for the emotional impact of getting rid of much of my library; packing the ceremonial objects collected over a lifetime; and shredding patient files brought lots of nostalgic reflection.
At the same time, I have been learning how to manage a household (management and details are not my strong suit) and it’s a task I have assiduously avoided until now. I’m hiring repairmen, scheduling doctor appointments, making to-do lists, learning how to start the dishwasher, etc. and it’s been a bit overwhelming;
These changes also come at a time when I am usually in Peru. For the last 10 years in the beginning of August I have been in Iquitos Peru for the Festival de Belen; a gathering of clowns from all over the world sharing their gifts with a desperately impoverished community spreading hope, cheer, and health. This annual pilgrimage has always replenished my soul, restored my faith in humanity, and reminded me of what I like best about who I am. I was surely there in spirit, but my body missed being there.
So, what’s getting me through? I am surrounded by love, and learning a lot about what’s important at this time in my life; moving into this new space is teaching me/ what to hold onto and what to let go of/ how to ask more directly for help/ helped me focus on what I still want to do, what inspires my imagination and dreams of things still to come.
The greatest blessing has been an appreciation of being surrounded by so much love. Love is the essence of a passion-filled life, it is those moments that stand out when you know you really lived. I feel it all around me, and am so grateful, it makes my smaller plate seem bigger.
To all of you, I say thank you…for all my relations, Mi Takuye Oyacin.
If you want to hear more and join the conversation, join my next Schlagchat on Tuesday , August 22 of 6 PM at zoom.us/j/847539925.